Tuesday, October 8, 2013

(He) Made Himself Nothing

 What would you do? Would you ring the bell?

" Hell Week consists of 5 1/2 days of cold, wet, brutally difficult operational training on fewer than four hours of sleep. Hell Week tests physical endurance, mental toughness, pain and cold tolerance, teamwork, attitude, and your ability to perform work under high physical and mental stress, and sleep deprivation."

"Trainees are constantly in motion; running, swimming, paddling, carrying boats on their heads, doing log PT, sit-ups, push-ups, rolling in the sand, slogging through mud, paddling boats and doing surf passage. Being still can be just as challenging, when you’re standing interminably in formation, soaking wet on the beach, or up to your waist in the water, with the cold ocean wind cutting through you. Mud covers uniforms, hands, faces – everything but the eyes. The sand chafes raw skin and the salt water makes cuts burn. Students perform evolutions that require them to think, lead, make sound decisions, and functionally operate when they are extremely sleep-deprived, approaching hypothermia, and even hallucinating. While trainees get plenty to eat, some are so fatigued that they fall asleep in their food. Others fall asleep while paddling boats and have to be pulled out of the water by teammates."

"The Instructors make it easy, even honorable, for students to come out of the cold: simply ring the bell that signals defeat, and enjoy doughnuts and coffee in front of your suffering former classmates."

What does this have to do with anything?

For the past 3 1/2 years I have been searching for truth. 

I have been seeking a creator a god or gods or goddess's. 

I finally have found it. 

This time around I have fully truly come to know Christ. 

It is hard to explain. I have not yet answered the unanswerable questions. But I do know that God has been shining his light in my dark gloomy path. 

In all my relationships family, friends or lovers, I have created a wall, something to protect and guard my heart, my emotional and broken life. 

When I was in foster care, I became a Christian, I was baptized and everything. Yet I had a young new faith. 

I was selfish in my new walk. Wanting healing and help on my own terms. Seeking earthly treasures still and possessions in my prayers. A great job, husband, big house and hoping for fast money. 

God was trying to break down my wall. With that came my past flowing out, my worst nightmares, old, sad, depressing feelings that I never truly healed from, just blocked it with my wall. I got scared and started pushing away. Only picking and choosing how I wanted to be a Christian. How I wanted to believe. But in the end...it pushed God completely out of my life.

I built a wall, God was trying to shine his light into my life, but I was blocking everything out and also blocking myself in. Dark, alone and numb to the truth.

Matt 19:26 "with man it is impossible, but with God all things are possible."

I lost faith in God. I wasn't letting Him take control. I was trying to do it on my own "impossible"

I was seeking God in all the wrong places. Looking into Big Bang, other religions, atheistism, freethinkers,Universism...and so on. Though I kinda found answers, I never felt convinced. 

Once I started looking at Christian sites for answers, things became more clear, insightful and meaningful. 

I felt like my dark, sad past of sexual abuse and past sexual relationships was starting to creep into my relationship. My emotions were finding a way to sabotage the relationship I am currently in. 

That is when it finally hit me!

When I finally realized that God was the only one that could heal me. 

His perfect love would teach me prefect love and how to love myself and in turn let that love shine out to the man I love. 

I thought I healed. I thought my past was over. But it was just hidden behind a poorly built wall. It was breaking down and God wanted to capture all of my past before it hurt me again and before I hurt someone I love. 

I used to think God was to good for me. How can He even understand all of what I had gone through in life? 

But now I know He has gone through just as much, even more then I ever thought possible! 

I didn't really know God...I just read from the Bible prayed and assumed that was all I needed to do to get on Gods good side. 
I always seeked that physically evidence. I needed to touch and talk and have a sign from God. I needed to truly know Jesus. This is what I learned... 

(He) made himself nothing. Philippians 2:7

Before He was even born his mother and father were living a difficult life. His mother, in those days, was to be captured and stoned to death for being pregnant before marriage. Joseph lost his reputation and was on the run for marrying Mary. They were on the run from the law in that day and age. 

Jesus was in a womb. He had to depend on Mary to carry him and birth him. He depended on her for nourishment and protection and was born in an animal stable. 

He nursed from his mother, learned to walk, talk, read and write. 

Joseph, Jesus' earthly father, had to teach him to be a builder at the age of 12 (Matt 13:55 Greek word teckon - builder so carpenter or stonemason in that day an age) (Jewish custom, fathers were required to teach the family trade at the age of 12)

As a 'builder' you would work in the sun, lifting heavy supplies, ruff hands, sweating, ragged clothes...

Jesus finally baptized and ready to do what he came to do, was sent into the wilderness (Luke 4:1-13) he didn't eat or sleep for 40 days. Satan tried to tempt him to give in, to tap out and use his powers to eat, to turn a stone into bread. But he didn't ring the bell. He didn't give in. 

Jesus get's exhausted (Mark 4:37-38) after days of traveling and preaching and teaching to thousands day in and day out, He falls asleep and doesn't even awake up during a horrible storm. 

Jesus cries out! Scared for what is to come of his future. 

Nervous, scared and longing for reassurance...escape. Longing for comfort from his disciples. 

Jesus was beaten, mocked, spit on, he carried his cross...he bleed, he was cut open. 

Philippians 2:1-8 "(He) made himself nothing...humbled himself and became obedient to death-even death on a cross!"

He never rang that bell, he never gave up. He trusted his Father, our God. 

God had a plan set in motion, he loved us before we even had Christ to turn to just as he loved his son Jesus before he even started his ministry (Matt 3:17)
And He will not stop loving us he will continue to work in our lives (Philippians 1:6) no matter what. He has made away for us (John 3:16) all we have to do is trust in His will for our lives (Hebrews 11)

We are not perfect...Believers in Christ are not better then anyone, they don't do everything right...we make mistakes, we get angry and we give into temptation...we have ups an downs in our lives. 

We need to be like Jesus. We are to love ALL. Whether they are sick, poor, of a different race, greedy, drug addicts, alcoholics...the list goes on. 

We are no better then our neighbors. Church, God, Jesus...is about love and compassion to those around use...not about how we dress or about the mistakes we make, we aren't here to judge, we are here to help free people from the burden of this sad world. We are to here to teach and guide and love and let Jesus' light shine through our lives. He is the only one that lived a sinless life and we need to let that shine through our lives. 

We are sinners but He wasn't. 

He didn't ring the bell and give up on us. He didn't give into temptation and fleshly desires. 

He became fully like us, so we could be like him. Philippians 2:6-8

His word, the Bible, is that physical evidence. I just wasn't seeing is clearly. I wasn't talking to God, I wasn't asking Him to reveal Himself and His will to me through His word. My eyes were clouded by my temporary earthly desires, I prayed for wealth and love. He was trying to answer my prayers and wanted to give me wealth and riches...in Heaven and His love. I was not seeking Him...I was selfish and looking for riches in this temporary life. 

I was blind...but now I (Truly) see!

So I am a believer in God, Jesus Christ. 

I was lost, uncertain...seeking and trying to find truth...but I am found!

Sept 4th 2013 in the middle of the night I let Gods light is shine in and through my life again. Truly shine!

For anyone is curious about how Jesus lived on earth, check out these great sermons.

Jesus The Man: Lowered

Jesus The Man: Loved

Jesus The Man: Empowered

Jesus The Man: Trained

Great books to read:

Kiss Me Again by Barbara Wilson

Welcome to the Revolution by Brain Tome


Thanks for reading!

Also a friend of mine recently shared this 
post and mentioned my previous post on my 
uncertainly of the Biblical God.
If you are interested in looking into when 
I was lost and uncertain and the change 
God has made in my life, here are the links to 

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